5 Business Lessons I Learned From My Wedding
Today, what I had planned out for you was to talk about launching and keep it up in that series. But I'm tabling that conversation because I just got married a few weeks ago, and it has been a wild ride. And ultimately, it taught me a couple of things about business.
There’s lessons in everything and I have a lot to share with you. So let’s get to it!
A Quick Recap of My Wedding
To keep things relevant and on track, I need to first say that I got married September 23, 2023. I married my best friend. It was amazing. It was beautiful. It was the funnest weekend of my life. So much joy, so much laughter and totally a party, which is what we wanted. But a lot went wrong. So much went wrong. I could write a novel about it. But everyone tells you something's gonna go wrong and it's gonna be okay. People won't notice. And yeah, that is what happened.
It rained a bunch out of nowhere leading up to the wedding week. Rain wasn't even in the conversation. I wasn't stressed about it. I just had this peace about it. There are lots of trees around if it sprinkles, at least that covers us a bit and the reception is in a tent. So, worst case scenario, we get married in a tent. As it got closer to the day, it went from it might sprinkle to it might rain to it's raining to it's definitely going to rain. So we had to make some changes last minute leading up to the wedding. Again, it ended up being beautiful. I don't want to dwell on the negative but, it got to the point where I considered making some really strong moves after the wedding to make things right.
Ultimately I thought about it, prayed about it, talked about it to people in my life, and realized that that wasn't worth it. I'm just going to instead remember and focus on the good. The fact that it was an amazing party. It was so fun. My hair and makeup, I felt like a princess. It was amazing to be around so many people that we love, especially after being together for so long. If you don't know this, we've been together for almost 11 years at this point. And the amount of love you fell in that room was palpable. It was wild and really, really special to be a part of. So I just feel grateful for it.
I am also extremely grateful for my vendor team. If you follow me on Instagram, a lot of my vendors are probably familiar faces, people who have been on the podcast, people who have been past clients, people who I've collaborated with in other ways, and all that to say, I truly could not have done it without them. They went above and beyond and did so so much.
The wedding was fun but a lot happened. Again, I'm not dwelling on that or going into detail. But I went through this grieving process. Not that the wedding was over. People talk about that. And I feel like I can be genuine with you. I was excited to get married. It was a great time. I enjoyed it. But I was thankful when it was over.
Because I have put my business evolution on pause for the wedding. But I have things that I'm shifting, changing, evolving and rolling out soon that I'm very excited about. And for me, the wedding was not in the way of it. But that took a higher priority. So a lot of my business fun stuff has been on pause, and I'm excited to plug back in and implement some new things. So I was happy when it was over. But I definitely had a lot of emotions the weeks after, for many reasons. And I've decided that I'm just going to leave it be.
But again, I just want you to know, how excited I am to be married, how excited we are to be married. And what a fun chapter this has been and anyone who's been a part of it. Thank you.
5 Business Lessons I Learned From My Wedding
Instead today, I want to spend the rest of the conversation with you talking about what lessons I learned through this process because some things became glaringly obvious for my business specifically. Odds are maybe some of this can help you and your business too. So consider this a more vulnerable Kelsey, conversation today.
How You Show Up Matters
So, the first lesson that I learned through the planning process, is the way you show up matters. For context, I was one of those brides where I trusted the professionals. I hired a planner, I hired hair and makeup. Even though I used to do hair and makeup, I was like you're the expert. Just do whatever you think is best. I fully trusted my people. People say that things will go wrong, and they are not wrong. Things went very wrong. In the moment, I didn't dwell on it. I just was so focused on having a good time and making sure other people had a good time.
But what I didn't really think about is the people around you on your wedding day are feeding off your energy. And this is something actually something my planner said to me later. She was like, the people didn't know anything was wrong because you and Matt made it seem like everything was fine. You were having a great time, so they had a great time. I thought wow, what a powerful example of the power our energy has.
We can bring that into business too. There are seasons where you have a tough time, there are seasons where you're not showing up as your best self. It's important to remind ourselves, especially as business owners, about the power we have in how we show up. When I say show up I mean literally if someone runs into you in the grocery store, how you treat people. If you have a server at a restaurant and he's doing a really great job, just taking the time to say, Hey, you did awesome. I really appreciate it. All those little things go a long way. The way that we treat others, we also start to show them how we want to be treated. And that's so important in business and something we forget.
I also recognize this when it came to my clients leading up to the wedding. I told them I was taking a week off and fully unavailable unless your cat dies, don't call me even then. And they were nothing but so supportive. So when I had my first meetings back with my clients after the wedding, they were just so excited wanting to see photos and hype me up. It just goes to show I'm working with my dream clients. And that feels so good.
I just want to remind you that how you show up matters. People feed off your energy. So if someone is spiraling and you start spiraling with them, you're not going to get out of it. People are going to look to you, especially as the business owner and the professional, for how to react to things. It's up to us to be empathetic and compassionate, but also positive and forward-thinking. So I thought that was a really interesting lesson.
2. Rest Isn’t Selfish
Number two. It's that rest isn't selfish. This really blew up in my face. Which is why I am open about this. I struggle with this a lot. I have a hard time sitting still. I am an Enneagram 8, I am a Leo, I am a go go go person. I love accomplishing things. Not necessarily completing tasks, but hitting goals, that feels really rewarding to me.
So I took Wednesday to Wednesday off and got married the Saturday in between. I got massages with my mom and my sister and I got a facial and I got a lash lift and brow tint and all of the girly stuff done. I got my nails done. All those things I'd never do for myself. It felt good for that event. But it's not something I want to keep doing.
But it was just a reminder that it's okay to pause and invest in myself in this way. Also, I want to be transparent, we did not go into debt at all for this wedding. We paid everything off. We had some support from family and friends. But ultimately, we just budgeted really well.
So this also has started to creep into me not taking care of myself super well, so I think it's good to do nice things for myself every once in a while. It feels good. I did that. I spoiled myself a little bit during the wedding. I just think it's important to remember how far you've come and make that a little bit more of a priority. So that's something moving forward, I plan on doing just a little bit more frequently because I deserve it dammit.
3. How To Prioritize Better
The third lesson I learned from this wedding is how to prioritize. I took off Wednesday to Wednesday, I had met with all my clients, I ran my networking groups, we had a lot of events leading up to right before I took time off. I didn't even post on Instagram. I didn't even look at my emails. Nothing. And that takes a lot because I usually will skim or I'm able to do the high priority tasks in my business. But I did nothing, and it was awesome.
Well, that was all fine and dandy for a week. But then Thursday, I met with some clients, Friday I met with some clients and Friday night I ended up getting sick, which turned into the next week. I was so just tired and foggy that it took everything in me just to do the bare minimum, I had to take a couple days off to do nothing and just rest. If you don't work for yourself, you'd be like you sound crazy.
But if you are a business owner, this is just really a good reminder of how many things are sometimes out of our control. So in my head, I was taking a week off, but it ended up almost being two weeks off of my business. And some things in my business needed addressing because it's not sustainable for me to do that. I don't want to be the bottleneck in some of these areas that I am.
I personally have a lot of different things on my plate that are important to me. But that time that forced time away made me really think about okay, what really gets to stay on the plate and what has to come off? I know I've talked about this before but this was just another nice reminder of how important that is.
I definitely will be exploring this moving forward because some things I've got to change.
It is interesting to wake up knowing my to-do list is a mile long and there are things that need to get done. But having the ability to be like, Okay, here's actually what's most important, I have to pay my bills. So I carved out time for that. Here's also what's important. Checking with my clients and supporting them. Here's also what's important: invoicing and onboarding, and all of that stuff.
Here's what's not important, sorry, Facebook group. But if you've been waiting for my life, that hasn't happened. I had to let some of that stuff go. And it's because I know what is most important in my business.
Even though I wasn't able to catch up as fast as I wanted to from being sick, I felt a level of peace that I have now that I wouldn't have before. It's because I know what to focus on and what not to. Even still, I feel like I can trim some stuff off my business, get more efficient with things and delegate better.
This was just a really huge wake up call in that regard. So, that fine line between getting stuff off of my plate and repackaging it in a smarter way.
4. Make Space For Your Creativity
Here's what else I have learned. Wedding planning takes up a weird part of your brain. It takes up any and every crevice of time you have. Any alone time you have with your partner, I felt like we were talking about it 24/7. I just didn't realize how much emotional space that was taking. It feels good to have that space back.
Now that I have decided not to engage with the issues that I was the weeks after the wedding, I feel like I have reclaimed some of that back. And one thing I superduper noticed during this time is that I can't force myself to be creative. The zone in which I am creative has to be protected. So what that looks like for me is I am going to be doing some education coming up, I'm doing some big speaking engagements, I'm doing some workshops.
I'm putting together a proposal to do a big women's retreat at a church. The part of my brain that needs to sit and create that structure, that talk, that curriculum, those slides –I can't force it. That creativity usually happens when my space is clean, my needs are met, my business feels secure, and I'm taking good care of my people and all my systems are in place. Then I feel like I have time to be creative and have fun with my business. It has been months since I've been in that headspace.
I just didn't realize that I've been unable to engage in that way for so long that I'm very much looking forward to doing more creative stuff. Because I do like to be creative. I love speaking and I love mapping out how I'm going to lead a workshop and what the takeaway is going to be and what are the hands-on activities I'm going to do that are a little quirky and different. I love doing that. And something I've been wanting to do is sit and map specific ones out that I can just pull out and use when needed rather than having to come up with something fresh every time.
But I have been putting that off and it's because I just haven't had any room to be creative. I am craving that. I will block off time to schedule in to just be and create and play and start to map out some new stuff I want to put out there for next year. I'm very excited about it. So planning a wedding took up any little capacity I had for that for months.
I mean, we got engaged in November and got married in September. So it was a pretty quick timeline. We had 257 people at our wedding. So it wasn't just a small little shindig, it was a lot of people. We did two events, a brewery thing on a Friday and then we had the wedding. It was a lot.
So I’m thankful to have that space back. One thing I really pushed myself to do, and I'm grateful for, is I told myself, I am grounded from making any significant business changes, launches, partnerships, until at least a month after the wedding. I'm glad because any changes that I make to my business I want to make for the right reasons. I have so much adrenaline running from all of this stuff that has gone on –the good, the bad, the ugly. All of it is just constantly churning in my body that now is not the time to reinvent the wheel. I just need to engage with my clients and take care of them and their businesses. They're doing great and I'm excited. We're onboarding some new people too. And that's really always really exciting.
Ultimately, I see how precious it is to have time and space to create in your business. And when you have other stuff going on in your life, you just don't have the capacity. And you need to be at peace with that. But also know when you need slash. If you want to create stuff in your business, you have to create an environment, both mentally and physically where that is doable. So that's something I learned during this process as well.
5. Remember What Matters Most
The last thing I learned is what really matters the most. A lot went wrong, including the weather, which is what it is. But a lot went right. People had a great time, people still to this day are talking about it, which is so crazy to me. I keep hearing stories, beyond those initial stories from people in their experience and people who met people and it makes us both so very happy.
I ended up taking time off after the wedding because I had family in town, and I spent as much time with them as possible. I was tired, our place was a mess. I was anxious to get back to work. But I really challenged myself to just be and enjoy this time with family.
I'm very grateful that I did because we only get that one chance. I can't tell you the last time I fully disengaged from everything in my business. Before coaching, I used to have a hair salon and even then, if an email came through, or a text or Instagram message, I'd at least maybe peek at it. I wouldn't always respond right away. But I went to have an awareness. And this time I just fully unplugged. And it was nice.
I feel like in a weird way, it reminded me of what really matters most. The relationships, the people in our lives and spending time with them. The relationship with my now husband. I mean, we are still in that fun, excited newlywed phase. But I'm enjoying going on walks and still spending time together, especially now that we don't have to talk about the wedding budget every time.
So here is a massive reminder of what really matters most. Moving forward, the decisions I make in my business will be even more protective of that. I feel like I do a fairly decent job with my boundaries. I don't even give out my cell phone number to clients. Most of them don't even have access to that at all.
One thing I could do better at is protecting the relationships that I have, the friendships and the family relationships and making that a higher priority. That's something I really plan on honoring more moving forward. Especially as my calendar is very full. I have a lot of travel and things coming up that I'm very excited about. But I also am learning through this process that I need to protect fun, I need to protect that even more.
Moving Forward As The Boss of Your Life & Your Business
But today's conversation really tees up the ball up very nicely for the one thing I want to ask of you. And that is to remind you to put yourself first. And I have to remind myself of this a lot. I do it well in certain aspects of my life. But there are other areas that lack and struggle. This experience just reminded me of what really matters.
This conversation is also a living, breathing example of how you are the boss, you get to control your controllables. You get to decide what you do and don't do in your business. For example, I opened up my laptop, I looked at the topic I had mapped out for today and I just felt like we needed to have a catch-up session. Life has changed and it's taught me a couple of things and I think this conversation was more important.
I wanted to share my decision-making process with you. Because I recognize as a business coach, this is potentially a superpower I have, it's something I help a lot of people see in their business. If I've done my job right as a coach, you will feel confident in the choices you make as a business owner. That's a huge part of what I do for people is equipping them to realize, Hey, I got it within myself. Even if this is a hard decision to make, I feel more confident in making it. That's when I feel like I've done my job.
Baja, Mexico Business Retreat
My one ask for you is if you are a business owner, and you are struggling to put yourself first, and you're feeling overwhelmed and you're having a hard time leading your team, maybe you haven't gone on a vacation truly in yours, I would actually love to have a conversation with you. Because I am co-hosting a business retreat that is so much more than that. We do yoga, there's this beautiful infinity pool on the property, we all stay on the same property. We did it last year and we're doing it again this year in March 2024 in Baja, Mexico.
I would love to invite you to apply to come with us becauseI want you to invest in yourself and know you’re worthy of it. You don't need a special event or reason to do it. You can do it just because as a business owner, investing in yourself can look like a lot of different things. So why not say yes to something that can pour into mind, body and spirit all at once? I am so genuinely excited for this. It's like that next thing on my list of things coming up to plan, strategize and get pumped for it. And we have a few spots left. So I thought I would tell you about it today.
I hope this episode maybe, I don't know either helps make me seem more human or relatable to you. Or maybe you learn some things that you could plug into your business too.