5 Questions To Help You Build Your Hell-Yes Filter
I have no problem saying yes to stuff. I have a hard time saying no. Maybe you can relate! The thing is, this isn’t always a great thing. So I am going to help you build your hell yes filter. I have a theory on this backed up by me and my personal opinion.
I think oftentimes, it's hard to say no because we haven't taken the time to figure out what we really want.
I'm really good at negotiating with myself. There's been opportunities in my business that have come up that in my gut, don't feel right. But I will spin it in a way to convince myself that it's a great opportunity. I also explore things, sometimes prematurely, sometimes for the wrong reason, sometimes for ego reasons. If I'm honest, it's because in those chapters, when that has happened, I lack a sense of clarity. Maybe you’re in the same boat.
So I thought it would be really important today to sit and build your own very personal hell yes, filter. I encourage all of my clients to become very clear and decisive in business because there will come a day where they won't need me anymore. Or there will come a day in their business where they need to make changes, or massive growth is available to them.
But when you have your own business, no one is really there to tell you what to do. Sometimes we feel like we need someone to just tell us what to do, but I think the root of that is a lack of clarity. That's why we're going to build that filter today. If you're ever in that position where someone approaches you for a partnership, a brand deal, or a collab, or some kind of amazing opportunity, before you just jump on it, run your idea or concept question opportunity through this filter. You'll know by the end of it whether it's for you or not.
Because I don't know about you, but I'm a busy girl. At this point in my life, both personally and professionally, I want to put my time and energy into the things that are for sure yes. Like the offers I'm providing, speaking engagements that I want to do, hobbies that I want to do.
How To Build A Hell-Yes Filter
So let's jump on in. For the sake of example, we're just going to say you got offered a really interesting slash cool opportunity. This has happened to me more times than I would like to admit.
If I'm going to be real here, historically, I will trust people too quickly. I mean no disrespect, but sometimes in the past, I would make decisions from a place that was not solid. I would commit to doing something, partner with something paid for, something that I didn't take the time to really assess if it was the right fit. And that just leads to disappointment.
Let’s say you just got presented with an opportunity, and on the surface, you're excited. It sounds cool. Ego wise, it may be really interesting and helpful in getting your name out there. But on the flip side, maybe it's scary and intimidating. You're thinking of saying no, you're not worthy, you have doubt, fear, or whatever end of the spectrum you are sitting on.
Before you make a decision, run it through the following questions.
Are Making A Decision Out Of Desperation Or Abundance?
Making big, life altering, personal or business decisions out of a place of abundance, where money is no object because your needs are met is so different than if you have $0 in the bank and you are desperate for money.
If you choose from option A, it might be a cool opportunity that feels good and it could be a way to hopefully give you a quote unquote quick win. If you're making it because of option B, it might not be the right solution for you.
We are so good at getting sold to, especially with social media. I hate to nag on it, but it's just really top of mind right now. Especially in the coaching space. Someone the other day said she spent $8,000 grand for a business mastermind of other business owners that weren't even full time yet. I'm still so angry based on what she told me because I feel like she was forced into a program that was not the right solution for her business at that time. But she was sold this image of work from anywhere work, whatever hours you want, we'll get you zero to 6k in six months, or whatever the tagline was, and she was really sold this vision. Ethically, the coach shouldn't have pushed her through. I don't know the coach, but just based on what I was told, I don't think it was the right fit.
But for her, as the business owner, I would have loved to have her answer this question for herself: if she had $0 or a million, would she still make the decision?
That is the difference between making a decision out of desperation and abundance, because odds are if you are feeling desperate in business and you are grabbing at straws, something drastically is going to change things for you. I hate to bring it to you. But most of the time, from what I see, as a coach, the tools are already in your toolkit. It's just a matter of leveraging them.
Either your offer isn't connecting with your people, you're not in front of the right people, or you haven't talked about it enough. Usually, it doesn't mean you need to reinvent and reorganize everything. Oftentimes, it's just about okay, that launch failed, how do I do it again and maybe get a couple more people? Okay, that launch failed because I only had 20 people on my email list. What if I focus instead on getting more people on that list? Then I can launch again in six months? A lot of us just want quick wins.
The truth is, if we're looking for a big drastic change in business, sometimes it's just a slow, steady thing.
2. Is This Something Future Me Would Be Proud Of?
So this question stems from business owners I've talked to whose sales aren't quite where they want to be. They're not able to build or they're struggling month to month. The big question of do I get a part-time job? Or do I just stay full-time, full energy?
The hard truth with that is it depends. But I want to challenge you. Because if you're of that mindset, where you’ve tried these things over and over again, I'm still part time and I'm just not able to get this thing off the ground. Maybe there is a season where a part time job will actually allow you to have some level of peace and stability to get you to where you need to go.
On the flip side, I have seen people who are part time in their business and part time working who are held back because they have this commitment to another entity. Recently, one of my past clients –granted, she was bringing in six figures part time as a business owner – but her growth had this trend line that you could tell was going to plateau, simply because she was still working part-time for somebody else. So in that situation, it didn't make sense for her to go full-time in her business. But I think it depends.
How To Know When You’ve Stepped Off The Path
At the end of the day, I'm a big fan of getting clear on where you want to go. So what does the future you want? What does that look like? What does that feel like? And then work backward to ensure this decision, this opportunity, this potential squirrel syndrome you're experiencing today, either helps get you there, or gets you off the path.
I'm gonna give you another example of getting off the path. I'm always full of business ideas. I have a ton of ideas and I can be someone who can act quick and quick to implement stuff. I'm clear on what I want for my future version of myself and my business. But I have some ideas that are really good if I were to jump ship to explore those today.
It may be fun projects that could be interesting to look at and potential revenue streams but I actually think it would distract from where I want to go. So I'm not letting myself go down that path because there are certain things that I know for sure I want to build that need my focus.
The one person who got me to really hit myself over the head and understand this at a deep level was Alex Hormozi. He's one of the few podcasts I listen to semi-regularly. At one point, I think he was CEO of seven different industries and companies in totally unrelated businesses, and they were all doing good revenue. But they were expensive to run. And his business partner, who's now his wife, was like, if you're able to bring in that much money in the door with seven different things fighting for your attention, imagine how much more effective you could be if you were just CEO of one thing.
The more he's talked about this, the more I'm like, shoot, I think he's right. I have this tendency to want to have different projects going on. I'm still consolidating my business to a point but I'm just focusing on making what I have right in front of me better. That's it.
So that's a very long tangent to say, if future you involves really big goals and dreams, it might mean sticking with the thing right in front of you a little bit longer to make sure that foundation is solid. I help people launch stuff, whether that's an online store, coaching, workshops, community, podcasts, offers, hiring more team members, more locations, whatever we're launching –the number one thing I always help my clients with first is getting house in order. That's what I’m talking about here. So thinking of this hell yes filter, if you are at this crossroads with a decision to make, think about the decision you make. Will future you be proud that you did that and thankful? Or would future you be waving their arms yelling, no, you're getting distracted, you just need to stick it out a couple more months.
3. Am I Doing This For Me Or For Others?
Another question I want you to run this decision through is, Am I doing this for me or for others? It's so interesting because when I started the coaching world, I thought I knew what people needed in business because it was during COVID times and I helped a lot of people apply for PPS or get set up for that. I also helped people get into a rhythm of scheduling social media, which, right now, I absolutely do not want to help people do. I will happily refer you to some people who are great at that. But I was so convinced I knew what people wanted that that's what I built, instead of taking the time to understand what they wanted and then building that.
That is different from making big time business decisions. So when I'm talking about doing market research, listening to your audience, and then building something out of what they are communicating that is different from what I'm seeing right now, which is, are you making this very big decision because you want to or because other people are influencing your decision?
I just wanted to differentiate that those are two different things in my book, so you need to make the best decision for you.
That might mean getting a part time job for a couple of months. That might mean having a really hard honest conversation with your partner. I know I'm not bringing in enough to cover the bills. But I really want to give this my full attention for the next quarter. Can we reconnect then and go from there?
That might mean saying no to a really cool potential opportunity that you were hand selected for. I got invited to do this really cool thing and there was a part of me that so badly wanted to make it work. But I realized it was a massive distraction from the businesses right in front of me. I had to eventually say no, and I have FOMO sometimes because this thing went on without me and I knew it would.
So you really have to ask yourself that question, am I making this decision for me or for others? Others can be colleagues. Others can be how other people perceive you. Others can mean a lot.
4. Is This An Ego Decision?
The next layer is, is this an ego decision? That big opportunity I was talking about was definitely an ego decision. The opportunity was really cool and it definitely stroked my ego. I got razzled and dazzled and convinced myself that it would be this massive cash flow injection into my business. And it was not. I don't know their situation currently. But last I researched, I don't think they're bringing in any revenue. And again, it would have just been a massive distraction from the stuff that I'm doing. Even though I was really honored to be selected. It was not the right thing. And I wasted a lot of my time focusing on someone else's thing just because it sounded cool. So check yourself before you make these decisions.
5. Does This Feel Good With My Soul?
The next question I want you to answer for yourself if you're at that fork in the road is, does this feel good with my soul? Does this feel aligned with how I am as a person? My moral values? Does it excite me? You can figure out the business stuff later.
So often I hear people say, Oh my gosh, I got asked to do XYZ thing. They promised X number of dollars, I think I'm gonna do it. I'm always like, wait, what? Where did this come from? No, we need to make sure this feels good first and if it aligns with where future you wants to go. It should align morally, spiritually, physically all of those things first, and then you can build the business from that.
A great example is the coaching world. There's like 18 million ways to be a business coach. You can have podcasts like I do, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, masterminds, mini minds, high ticket offers, and more. There's a bazillion different ways to coach.
At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you. So if you're building a business or at this fork in the road, don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Don't Google best, most successful coach, unless you're not worried about it being aligned. But then, at that point, if you're just going after the cash, and you're just rinsing and repeating, I feel like there's a lot of other ways to get quick cash than being an entrepreneur.
Odds are, if you're sitting here, you care. There's a part of you that wants to make a difference, to help people, to serve people, to do different, be better, whatever that means for you. So make sure this decision you are entertaining aligns with that first, and then you can build a business after. This is something I didn't get.
When I started the coaching, I was so about making sure we set up the course and that has a freebie and then that funnels into my email list, which funnels into this and that and this and that. There's a time and place where all that stuff is important.
But if you are just in decision making mode, you shouldn't even think about that stuff. Because that stuff can be figured out. That stuff is all completely figure outable. If you need help setting up an email system, I got the person for you. That stuff should not be how you make decisions.
How you make decisions should start with where future you wants to go, This opportunity will help me get there and excites me and it feels good. Great, do it. If it doesn't do those two things, then don't do it.
What I Am Saying Hell Yes To
So that's what I have as far as questions for you to run things through. For authenticity reasons I wanted to share some things I'm currently saying hell yes to. Maybe one of these resonates with you.
The number one thing I'm saying yes to is dream clients who are all in. I've had to learn the hard way that I'm not for everybody. I have this superhero complex where I just want to save everybody. But I’ve had to learn that I can't. I can't save somebody who is not in the emotional position where they're unable and willing to save themselves.
I'm just a guide. I'm just Dumbledore. I'm just Pete Carroll, I'm just there to help guide them. At the end of the day, they have to be the one to do it. And there are certain people who quite frankly, don't have it. I say that with love and compassion. But it needs to be said. And that has been very hard because I want to save everyone. I'm realizing that I can't, at least in the way that my coaching is currently set up, I cannot. I need to be even more picky about that.
On the flip side, when I work with certain people, I'm like, Oh my gosh, we work so well together. They run in a sprint and they implement these things. And just the way that we communicate, the way that we show up for each other is so cool and feels really awesome. I want more of that. So for me personally, in my coaching business, I've gotten more and more aware of what that looks like. But it's hard.
In hindsight, I realize who I work best with and it’s even more specific than in the beginning. I was pretty specific in the beginning, but I continue to get even more specific with that. So I'm saying hell yes to dream clients who are all in and ready just to do epic stuff, and they're willing to put in the work. I'm also saying yes to speaking gigs. I love this. I love sharing knowledge, sharing stories, being authentic, connecting with people, and helping people, and speaking is its own thing. It's its own industry, which requires its own strategy and how you show up how you put content out there. The press packages, you have to have the canned speeches you have to have ready to go and it's not something I am going full force into but if the right opportunities come up, I'm saying yes to that. I'm saying yes to workshops and team trainings.
In the last couple years, some of my clients have built teams, so I've started incorporating team trainings into my coaching packages. And I love it. I love being a translator and making sure we have the right people in the right seats on the bus and that we're all going in the same direction. It's so cool to watch people become empowered because the business owner has so much passion and vision for what they're doing. I love watching the staff help support that person and vice versa. It's really cool to see and I love making sure that they all feel valued important and take great care of their clients.
I'm also saying yes to retreats. We are doing Baja 2024. I love retreats, I love getting to watch so much transformation happen in a short amount of time. I love watching people connect and collaborate in whatever way that looks like.
I'm also saying yes to more simplicity and repurposing. I have quite a few systems in my business that work for now. But I'm thinking of consolidating even more. I don't want to go too deep into this so my inbox doesn't get overwhelmed with people wanting to help me with a specific platform that I'm considering. But I am really calling in simplicity and repurposing stuff.
I put so much heart and energy into this podcast, whether it's a solo episode or guest episodes where we have the guest speakers or the Hot Seat coaching, I put a lot of effort and energy and strategy into these episodes. But I want to be able to share them in other ways, ultimately, so more people can see them and get help in this level of business.
I'm also saying hell yes to more help. Whether that is hiring and having my employee work more hours or reaching out to different team members or doing more collaborations. I have a hard time asking for help. It's something that I'm trying to say yes to more.
The last thing I'm saying yes to more is dancing. Because there's always room for more dancing.
How do you build your hell yes filter? I think it's important to have your own process. But I think the core questions that I asked here are tried and true and really important to be able to answer for yourself anytime you're at the point of making a big, potentially life-altering decision.
Just remember to always sleep on it. Take one night and sleep on it. I've helped hire people and fire people. I've helped massively revamp businesses. I've helped open new locations. I've helped really big business decisions and I always say sleep on it. Take the time to really dig into your business and how you make decisions and ultimately build your own hell yes filter and let me know how it goes!